2011- Gritting Through- Backstory continued...

          The Third Quarter- Gritting Through

Hebrews 11:11 says,
            "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen." 

I returned to work on faith. Counting on the promise that God would return me to warrior status.  
My previous return to light duty in January, 2010, had ended in failure and weakened both my body and my confidence.  Had the decision to return to work been entirely my own, I might have waited longer. Proven myself longer.  But, as is the case in many challenges in life- some things are beyond human reason or personal control- thus requiring it to be all God. 

In reality, there is no way of knowing some things before facing the challenge. That falls directly under faith, the "hoped for, but yet unseen".  There were dozens of things to address, scenarios to play-out in my mind, and situations to consider. My wife and I had spent months walking and talking; discussing options, possibilities and probabilities. We had spent days driving terrain similar to the area I hoped to again patrol.  She had trekked to the range with me at all hours and in all conditions; to guarantee we were both secure that my aptitudes, skills and abilities had returned.   I had the faith to know that it could be done, but I had to rely on God to provide the strength and confidence it required.

It was understood by all that this time my return to work was "all or nothing". 

Pain is a evil task master who has waged a war to crush me since 29 February 2008.  Daily, I must refuse to be broken, and daily the battle rages on.  I returned to work in pain, and struggling to catch up on three years of changes within the CBP data and informational systems.  By the end of the first week, I was beyond exhausted- but I was working!

Upon my return to work, I was watched closely, and rightfully so.  For three long years, my BP family had stood beside me "through it all", watching, caring, supporting, praying and grieving.  At one point, a select few had even been tasked with planning my funeral.  Thankfully, it didn't come to that.   I was relieved that it didn't take long for them to be satisfied that I was finally recovered sufficiently to head to the field. While they saw it was not easy, they recognized that I was ready. Each day faced was a testimony to the battle against this injury and the chronic pain and fatigue that remain in its wake. 

I do not have words to express what it felt like to be in uniform, to have been made a warrior again, so I will borrow these...

"Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand the evil day, and having done all, to stand."  Ephesians 6:13

                                denton.moberly@live.com