Thursday, August 2, 2012
Time to think about treatment again. The multiple procedures performed in the months before I accepted the position at the Academy took the edge off my pain, so traveling to New Mexico, while uncomfortable, had not been intolerable. Plus, my excitement and enthusiasm at the opportunity had me riding a crest of elation which I am certain helped immensely. The benefit of those procedures was pretty well gone by the time we headed back north...and I could sure feel the difference.
Previously, I had been given facet injections on occasion and had learned I could travel with relative comfort soon after. During the facet injections a numbing agent combined with a steroid is placed into the nerve root deep in the back where it leaves the spinal column. There is initial discomfort, but the positive effects are noticed fairly quickly. For a comparison, think of it as similar to the injections given to 'numb up' before a dental procedure. Facet injections don't make the pain go away, nothing does, but they make it more tolerable- for a period of time. The two procedures I have had, facet injection and rhizotomy are best described as "similar- yet different". I learned that the hard way.
Traveling so far so soon after last September's rhizotomy procedures had proven to limit their effectiveness. Rhizotomy also enters the body delivering an anesthetic and can even involve administration of steroid- but that is where the similarity ends. While the needle is introduced into the nerve root- this needle is equipped with an electrode. The electrode emitts high frequency radiowaves (think mini-microwave) to directly cauterize or burn a section of the nerve. There follows a healing process before the burning of the nerve interrupts the pain signals being carried to the brain. The rhizotomy procedure is more akin to what happens after a major dental procedure...when the local numbing wears off and the real pain and swelling sets in. There is benefit, but it is far from immediate. It has the pain decreasing potential to last from 4 to 14 months, but it takes several weeks before the true positive effect to be discerned. The trip back to Montana after that particular one was a real bugger, so we had been praying for answers and a better plan in the future.
Early summer saw us headed back to Missouri again for the requisite medical checkups, tests and evaluations. A bit of a medical oddity, as my primary condition is so rare, maintaining a constant level of care often remains a challenge. God has blessed me with a great medical team who agree to manage my care from our home state of Missouri. They are lifesavers, literally. While there are doctors much closer, I had been unable to find the same consistency and dedication to my care anywhere locally. In fact, a few providers here were even detrimental and caused setbacks in my health when they suddenly changed course on a whim, or "tried to re-invent the wheel". Traveling the 3300 mile round trip multiple times a year for evaluations is not convenient, but it is "do-able", even if it is time consuming and expensive.
Organophosphate greatly affected my body, and still has the potential to do some pretty nasty stuff in the long term ,so they watch me very closely. Most of my "medical monitoring" is focused on being alert for tumor formation, cancer or glandular changes- and pain management. A nuclear bone scan came back with no evidence of bone cancer. Good news there! A couple of other tests showed some "sub-clinical" changes, so nothing more than continued watching and waiting, or what Toni calls " treating with conscientious neglect". One of the many blood test did reveal that the poison has affected some of the glands that are in charge of my metabolism and energy levels. Toni keeps track of the specifics more than I do. Anyway, after being poked and prodded, screened and scanned...my meds were changed a bit, and another medicine was added to the B12 shots I take monthly for fatigue. Nothing major when compared to what I have already been through. Basically, there are the residual effects that I live with on a daily basis for as long as God see fit or until He decides to change it. I just stay willing to do whatever keeps me able to work and live for Him.
So, more facet injections had been given again in May before traveling, but over time they have become less successful. At the appointment with my pain specialist, I received clearance to have the rhizotomy procedures in Montana, if we could get a doctor to accept my care. After much prayer and research, Toni found a specialist in Great Falls who was willing to consider taking over just that portion of my care. So, on June 29th, I met with Dr. Oriente- and on July 18th, I underwent rhizotomy at L3, L4, L5 and SI. I can assure you that the 100 mile trip home was much easier than the 1650 mile one had been last Fall. Praise the Lord!
August 3rd is my follow-up, but I can already report that I am seeing some early benefit. The deep bone pain in my pelvis and that travels down my right leg to my foot is being controlled. Thank you, God! It is still a bit early to tell on my low back. I can report that my general pain level has diminished from consistently being in the high 8-9 range on a daily basis. Currently, it fluctuates a range of 4-8 on a 1 to 10 scale, with just occasional sudden jolts of excruciating pain. I was even able to return to work after just a week, which is much quicker than before.
Again, God has provided for this success and I am so thankful. Throughout this entire journey, I have bore nothing comparable to what my Saviour, Jesus Christ endured on the cross. When you read my story, or hear my words never lose sight of this. For it is writtten-
"But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
The New Year started with me just over two months into a detail instructing in Artesia, New Mexico. It felt great to be back teaching firearms at the Academy again. I had really enjoyed it when I was there in '06-'07, but this time back I truly savored it. The warmth of New Mexico, found both in climate and in people, was a balm to my soul.
Staying in a little cabin close to the lake offered the best of both worlds. Sunrise over the water each morning and sunset over the desert plateaus each night constantly affirmed God's presence. The wife never complained about the long hours or the isolation that my job afforded her- she just made pets of whatever desert rabbit or flock of birds happened to wander her way. One particularly brave bird began coming to the window seeking her out for food when the weather took a oddly bitter snap for the our southwestern location. That evolved into an odd welcome home for me each night. Pairs of doves and thrashers would fly escort on my Jeep as I rolled down the drive. Random blackbirds stationed as sentinels would scramble to the lake to collect the others in their flock. Upon my arrival to the porch steps, I had to watch out for the now "yard bunnies" who refuged with Toni's mini-menagerie. Yeah, go a head and laugh. God has a sense of humor too, 'cause I will be hard pressed to ever shoot a rabbit now unless we were starving!
I have always lived a high speed, hard charging life, but God has taught me a few things over the last few years. Take nothing for granted because life can change dramatically in a heartbeat. One can never call home too much, write too many letters or take too many pictures. It is impossible to say "I love you" too often and there is no such thing as too many good memories. There should always be time to spend with friends and family, and it is worth the effort to visit just a few minutes longer. Make sure your house is in order with the Lord too, for there may not be a second chance.
Every chance we could we headed out to explore the desert and see the sights. There are great memories of offroading through the Mescalero Sands with friends , awesome worship services shared, and many, many pictures of our adventures printed for albums, and posted on our Facebook. The times may have passed, but the photos and memories always remain to remind us of the love and friendship that we share- nothing can take that away.
It had been a good winter. Leaving our tranquil refuge in the desert was not easy, but early April found us loading both vehicles and covering the 1550 miles back to my home station here in Shelby. Having missed the worst of Montana's cold, it felt really good to be back home. The beauty here is amazing, they don't call it "Big Sky Country" for nothing. Home, sky, wheat fields and mountains...yes, Montana, we did miss you.
"How lovely on the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who tells of peace and brings good news of happiness, who tells of saving power, and says to Zion, “MyGod reigns!”
Friday, July 27, 2012
Being a Border Patrol Agent is the best job ever. It remains my dream job. Patroling is where I am most content, but I enjoy virtually all aspects of my work. Having long been certified as both a Firearms and ATV instructor, I soon realized this was going to be a long, busy summer. I threw myself back into work, despite the new challenges I now faced. Everyday was a proving ground.
Shelby station had acquired several new agents during my extended absence. Being the stations only ATV instructor, I was tasked with catching up the training backlog. It was brutal. By necessity, I managed to run several classes through "back to back", but it took a hard toll. By September, the ATV program was back on track. I was looking forward to returning to routine patrol work. What is that old saying about "the best-laid plans of mice and men"?
Gears immediately changed. The following week I headed out for Harper's Ferry, West Virginia. Every five years firearms instructors must recertify, so for me to maintain my certification it was time. I was more than a bit anxious knowing that it would be another long week requiring all my physical and mental energy. The grueling weeks of ATV training had really worn me down, but FIRTP recert is only offered at certain times. So, basically it was now or never, if I wanted to keep my instructor certification. Toni felt a strong last minute urge to buy a plane ticket and accompany me and for that I was very grateful. She still monitored me closely, and had greater understanding of what adjustments would be needed to compensate for the effects of; the sudden shift change; combined with the time zone change; plus, the 32 hour loss of sleep the required work/travel marathon just getting there would have on my mind and body. The week passed in a blur, but it passed successfully. I returned to Montana dog-tired, but challenged and enthusiastic about upcoming changes to the firearms training program and qualification process. This week would soon prove to be worth the daunting effort it had required.
One day, soon after my return from Harper's Ferry, I was at Sector participating in an ATV policy planning forum. A random conversation with an agent I had met in Harper's Ferry opened doors for a great opportunity. I was offered the opportunity to return to the Border Patrol Academy as a firearms instructor for a six month winter detail. I longed to go "down south" again having enjoyed it immensely when instructing there in '06-'07. So jumping at the chance, I applied immediately, all the while praying for clarity and guidance. Instructing for the Border Patrol Academy at the prestigious Federal Law Enforcement Training Center would be another way to prove to myself that I was truly "back".
One last trek to Missouri in 2011 for medical evaluation also gave opportunity for a new treatment option. Research had been done and requests approved to try radio-frequency rhizotomy to burn the nerves in my lower back and sacroiliac joint in an attempt to decrease my pain. While this is not the typical treatment for a toxic neuropathy diagnosis, my pain specialist was willing to try it. My primary agreed that it was a viable option too, as the facet injections were becoming much less effective in reducing pain due to the grueling nature of my work. He too hoped that I would be accepted at the Academy knowing that the bitter cold of Montana's winter months caused my already crushing pain to increase. I longed to go to New Mexico even more.
On September 24th, I underwent rhizotomy procedures on several nerves in my low back. Gaining enough relief from the procedure for it to be considered moderately successful, I was able to again decrease the amount of medications used to managed my pain. A week later, we were driving back to Montana. This time to pack for our move south to Artesia, New Mexico. We were given less than ten days to take care of business, pack, find lodging and move the 1500 miles south. Whew! Thank God! It had been approved! Hallelujah! Let the race begin!
Prayers are often answered with unexpected and sometime dramatic results. During the course of 2011, I went from being 100% totally disabled to being restored to warrior status. In 6 months, I went from hesitantly returning to work- to being selected for a coveted training position instructing at the United States Border Patrol Academy. In the 8 weeks from August through October, I had successfully traveled over 8000 miles...and this from a guy who began the year unable to stay on his feet when the lights flickered. God is amazing!
New Years Day 2012, was a Sunday. It just seemed fitting to spend the day walking and talking with God. Toni and I headed to the desert, marveling at the beauty of the snow painted across the sands. Rejoicing in the miracles that God had granted throughout the past year, we spent the day praising and thanking God for all His grace and mercy.
I stand before you tested and tried; pained and persecuted; humbled, yet happy-
testifying that none of these things would be possible except for the power of a loving God who hears and answers prayers. I owe my life to the Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
When faced with trials in life, I urge you to keep your faith.
Seek God. Write His words and promises on your heart and never give up-
Always knowing and believing that the greatest of God's assurances is this:
"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." Philippians 4:13.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Hebrews 11:11 says,
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen."
I returned to work on faith. Counting on the promise that God would return me to warrior status.
My previous return to light duty in January, 2010, had ended in failure and weakened both my body and my confidence. Had the decision to return to work been entirely my own, I might have waited longer. Proven myself longer. But, as is the case in many challenges in life- some things are beyond human reason or personal control- thus requiring it to be all God.
In reality, there is no way of knowing some things before facing the challenge. That falls directly under faith, the "hoped for, but yet unseen". There were dozens of things to address, scenarios to play-out in my mind, and situations to consider. My wife and I had spent months walking and talking; discussing options, possibilities and probabilities. We had spent days driving terrain similar to the area I hoped to again patrol. She had trekked to the range with me at all hours and in all conditions; to guarantee we were both secure that my aptitudes, skills and abilities had returned. I had the faith to know that it could be done, but I had to rely on God to provide the strength and confidence it required.
It was understood by all that this time my return to work was "all or nothing".
Pain is a evil task master who has waged a war to crush me since 29 February 2008. Daily, I must refuse to be broken, and daily the battle rages on. I returned to work in pain, and struggling to catch up on three years of changes within the CBP data and informational systems. By the end of the first week, I was beyond exhausted- but I was working!
Upon my return to work, I was watched closely, and rightfully so. For three long years, my BP family had stood beside me "through it all", watching, caring, supporting, praying and grieving. At one point, a select few had even been tasked with planning my funeral. Thankfully, it didn't come to that. I was relieved that it didn't take long for them to be satisfied that I was finally recovered sufficiently to head to the field. While they saw it was not easy, they recognized that I was ready. Each day faced was a testimony to the battle against this injury and the chronic pain and fatigue that remain in its wake.
I do not have words to express what it felt like to be in uniform, to have been made a warrior again, so I will borrow these...
"Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Ephesians 6:13
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
God's grace was propelling me forward and I hoped toward my dream. I longed to return to the work that I love. Having been in law enforcement since leaving the military at the end of 1988, I didn't know anything else. Yet, uncertain that I would ever return to active duty with the Border Patrol, I had struggled through training at home to be a gunsmith. Building and customizing weapons helped occupy my mind and my time, but without patrol work- I just didn't feel like me. Hard work and unrelenting dedication were paying off. I was gaining ground. But, I soon found I would need another miracle.
Several very debilitating oppressors remained; pain, balance, and neurological issues were constant obstacles. Each day, I pressed through the hours and hardships by faith, grit and sheer determination. Suddenly, I was literally blindsided, by a problem that could compromise all I was striving for. Meticulously screened by specialists of all kinds; thoroughly evaluated and worked by physical therapy; plus, carefully managed independently at home- all bases were covered- or so we thought. Ironically, we didn't even know this deficit existed until I did a "ride along" with a friend who was a deputy in Missouri. It was a beautiful dark night when God revealed that strobe lights dropped me like a rock! Needless to say, it was a real attention getter and potentially devastating to my career.
God says in Luke 17:6 that if you have faith the size of a mustard seed you can expect miracles. If you don't already know it mustard seeds are pretty small. A good size reference would be smaller than the period ending this sentence. Well, there have been a few times during the course of the past few years that I lost sight of my mustard seed for a time. This was one of those times. I struggled to reconcile my condition with the promise God had given me for my future. I never lost sight of God, but I found myself confused and more than a little crestfallen.
When God creates the people He intends to join for a lifetime in marriage and as family, He equips them with special skills. My wife and I have known each other our entire lives. Beyond that, we have shared a deep and unbreakable bond since saying vows to one another in our childhood some 30 years ago. God engrained us with the skills necessary to handle each other, regardless of the circumstances. Doubts flooded over me, and it took all the encouragement my wife could give for me to tackle this latest twist of fate. Right there with me, she never left my side as we tested and studied what effects strobes had on me in different lighting environments and scenarios. At one point, I was ready to cash it in, certain I would have to admit failure. She listened quietly, then helped me to my feet, urging me to find the strength to try it again. We approached the problem from different angles, until I could stay upright- for she would not allow me to end that night totally defeated and discouraged.
After that, Toni researched everything available, delving deeply into neurological studies, articles and case studies on visual triggers. She spent hours trying to dicipher the intricate changes that this diagnosis of toxic neuropathy has left within my brain and spinal cord. When we met with my neurologist for consult, he carefully stated that once such changes take place there is little hope that the brain would compensate after this long. Then, he carefully questioned if I had considered our previous discussions regarding permanent disability. My confidence was waivering. As always, my wife was unwilling to leave things on such a negative note. Before we left town, she recommended we stop by Physical Therapy to show them my marked improvements since they had not seen me since December. While I was talking to a few of the staff members, Toni cornered a staffer who had worked closely with me. A man who had pushed me to remain enthusiastic and truly dedicated to reaching my goals. She explained the situation, the neuro's lack of optimism, and then asked opinions regarding some ideas she had been formulating. Bart encouraged her to try "anything and everything"- agreeing that it would take "a miracle"- but stating that it was a miracle that I was even alive. Those few words of support were all she needed to press me to get my second wind- reminding me that I had a purpose for God and a promise yet to be fulfilled.
The last medical visit before leaving Missouri was with my primary care doctor. Over the three months since my last eval with him, I had come off of several medications and drastically decreased several others. It was not easy, but it was carefully monitored and purposefully done. For lack of better terms, Doc was pretty stunned. He was so impressed with my progress, he sent me out to the hallway to walk back and forth, just so his staff could see. Having seen me at my worst; wheelchair confined with protective head gear; unable to speak intelligibly; there were smiles all around and even a few tears.
Now, here is where another test came in. I really wanted to try to return to work. This physician, as my primary, controlled just that. So, I thought about not telling Doc "the whole truth" about this visual trigger thing that would cause me to fall, but that wouldn't have been right. So we discussed this newest, unexpected twist. Beyond a miracle, he had nothing else to offer...except faith and encouragement!
He questioned us thoroughly. While he always listens to me carefully, there are many times that he studies and questions Toni to assure himself that he has the full understanding of the medical complexities which I relate in layman's terms. We have a good rapport, but they "talk the same language". Plus, he counts on her as his eyes and ears regarding my day to day progress; and she gives him the concise medical details of my failures and accomplishments. One thing too, she can be brutally honest. She supported my goal of going back to work 150%- but, told me from the very beginning, that if I ever attempted going back to work before it was safe- she would be the one to shut me down.
So, she explained "safe" to my primary doc, as she had explained it to me. Relating how, long ago when we were but kids, she came to grips with the fact that I was wired for a very "high speed, low drag" kind of life. I have always pushed everything to the edge of reason, and occasionally beyond. Then, when I left for the military after highschool, she lived each day with the fear and understanding that one day she might get "that call", notifying her I been killed during a mission. This continued all through my years in local law enforcement and SWAT. Returning to work, specifically going back to the Border Patrol, would put me back in the cross-hairs again. I have never feared death at any time that I have faced it- and I do not fear it now. She has always known me well- and at times, better than I know myself. She explained to Doc, as she had told me, that she was prepared to let me return to work, even knowing that I could be killed. But, that there would never be a day that she would allow me to return to the field if I was not totally fit for duty, because she knew if I ever felt I had endangered another agent that would be too much for me to bear. Yes, she knows me well.
Doc looked me directly in the eye and said that if I kept progressing at the current rate- when I felt I strong enough to return to work and Toni deemed it safe - he would approve it! I left that appointment with more hope than I had experienced in years!
The next few weeks were a whirlwind, filled with prayer, anxiety and anticipation. Once we arrived home, I was grilled, drilled and joy-filled, though not always in that order. I was able to come off more medications. Exercise routines and sleep patterns were changed to prep for a return to rotating shifts. Plus, we spent time working with meds, darkness and strobe lights...until God restored my balance and equilibrium.
In early May, at Toni's request, I return to the neuropsychologist who had performed all my cognitive testing throughout my illness. It was strictly precautionary- and as I much as I dreaded it, I repeated the entire battery of cognitive testing. Those hours were nerve-racking. In the end, it was a confidence builder, as the neuropsychologist said that I had recovered to full capacity, well beyond what he had ever projected possible. God is great!
On May 26th, 2011- I returned to work full-time/full-duty with the United States Border Patrol.
Another miracle had been granted, and while I still faced challenges, I was finally "me" again.
Monday, July 23, 2012
God is completely responsible for where I am today; alive and improving.
In 2008, I was sent home to die- and at one point, I did. Other occasions were just "close calls".
For more than two years I teetered on the brink. Medical specialists knew little to do for me
beyond prescribing a myriad of medicines and telling me, "Mr. Moberly, you should just be happy to be alive." While distinctly dissatisfied with the emergency/primary care that led to my initial misdiagnosis, I find no fault with the specialists who eventually managed my care. They tried everything. Having now studied the subject, I recognize that most organophosphate poisonings are relatively mild/limited and usually accidental in nature. Mine was neither. Those that are not mild or limited in exposure are typically fatal. That said, post-event rehabilitation and care is poorly defined due to the varied nature of the neurological assault. My experience is severe, yet- by God's grace- I remain alive.
God chose life for me. This I know beyond a shadow of a doubt. But, to speak openly and without reserve, I could not fathom why God brought me back to such a difficult, painful existence. For quite some time, I felt I had little purpose in life; with nothing to give and even less to live for. One thing about God, if you can just hold on to your faith long enough, He will reveal His plan. I clung to my faith, refusing to give up on God. It was confusing and slow and agonizing, but I knew that God had brought me back to life. Keeping me alive more than once- so there had to be a greater purpose. I desperately needed to know what He wanted for me and from me.
Pieces started to falling into place. As my Dad was dying, God sent my friend and future wife, Toni, back into my life. We had known each other from our childhood, and having shared a brief engagement in high school- we retained a deep bond that often defied understanding. In the darkest hours before Dad passed, my family called out to her- knowing that if anyone could "reach me" and comfort me, it would be Toni. Despite having seen me only twice in ten years; she came, she helped and, eventually, she stayed. With her experience as a nurse, she became integral to my care, my recovery, and my life.
My strong will and historically impulsive nature, now combined with physical and mental challenges, often concerned my family and friends. Decisions I made worried my brother and family; a memorable one was when I wanted to walk. Not just be upright and walking- they were all for that. I wanted to distance walk for therapy. Toni discussed it thoroughly with me; my conditions, my limitations, the risks of walking miles in Missouri's extreme summer heat. One thing about her- she has always understood me and she never, ever looked at my weakness and debilitation as permanent. Having known me all my life, she always "gets" me, she knows my spirit, and she has always called me "daring" when the rest of the world labels me crazy. Willing to let me take the risks under structured guidance, she agreed to take up my cause. In essence, she agreed to assume the responsibility if anything went wrong.
My family is not medical, so supported by Toni's friendship and knowledge they deferred my care to her and relaxed a bit for the first time in many months. Toni encouraged me- championed my efforts- and I walked. For hours each day, I walked. Initially weak and still very unstable on my feet, I agreed to stick to a small track at the local Junior High when walking alone. It was open to view from the street, and it was hoped that if I should fall (or worse) I would at least be visible...and maybe there would be help. My brother is a sergaent with the local police department and his wife works at the PD too. So, Kenny, or one of the other officers, would roll by to get a visual on me, as did their kids. Yes, I was that weak. Yes, it was that necessary.
As I have said before, I was alone a lot, just me and my Maker. It was in the last few months of 2010, that God revealed His promise to me. While walking one blindingly hot summer day, God spoke to me. Call it a "still, small voice", call it "epiphany", call it anything you want, but I heard from God. He told me I was going to be "restored to warrior status". It was clear as a bell, and with it was the understanding that I was to be a "warrior for God". Weak, and at times still helpless- I could hardly dream of being a warrior again...but, I held this in my heart, deepening my drive and determination. This promise became a great reassurance and an anchor to my faith.
When my doctors, (primary care, pain specialist and neurologist) released me to return to Montana, I had been in Missouri from mid-May through mid-September 2010. It was the most time I had spent in my home state since joining the Border Patrol in 2002. Toni remained by my side. Much had changed in my life and finally for the better. I was a bit stronger, but still had a long way to go. While I had been released to return to Montana, I was not released from care.
This started a pattern of returning to Missouri at regular three month intervals for further evaluations and procedures.
The New Year had us again returning from Missouri after another round of follow-ups. My doctors recognized that I was improving. SinceToni was with me 24/7 now, my doctors agreed that I could begin incrementally decreasing several of the major meds that I had been prescribed over the years. They encouraged me to file for disability, remaining in utter disbelief that I had never filed for permanent disability, and that OWCP had consistently refused to accept my case, pay my claims or provide for care. While I was better than before- the specialists still rated me 100% fully disabled. It is a odd state of being- greatly improved- yet still completely incapatitated. While I was no longer wheel-chair confined; my leg brace and helmet were gone. Balance and mobility continued to be big issues, so did pain, fatigue and a myriad of neurological signs and symptoms that remained.
Winters in Montana are brutal. While I had been able to keep up my walking through
a part of the Fall, cold weather quickly curtailed that. So upon returning from Missouri, we searched out a treadmill and my walking resumed- just inside for the time being. I probably logged enough miles on that treadmill to have made it to the Missouri state line!
Home had become the refuge it should have always been. It was wonderful to have a home where peace prevailed. The agents at my station noted that I was no longer "crashing" medically within two weeks of returning from Missouri, as had been the case from my injury in 2008 through early 2010. Many things that had previously been patterns and issues were no longer negatively affecting my recovery.
While I am not able to publicly answer all questions pertaining to the poisoning, and while some things in life are painful and private, I will attempt to answer any questions that you might have. If anything that I have faced can somehow help strengthen another and draw them closer to the Lord, then it has been worth it.
Thank you for your thoughts, your prayers and your patience.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
As fate would have it, 2010 proved a very memorable year.
God answered many prayers; carrying me through tragic loss;
revealing specific answers; and bringing the needed people into my life.
The year was filled with hardships and trials, nothing was easy-
but- it has proven necessary and worth it to get to where I am today.
Life has been healed- restored in ways always hoped for, yet never truly imagined.
Jan/Feb Return to light-duty at the Shelby Station-
If all it had required was sheer will and determination- it would have worked.
Alas, there was too much going on in my life and my body to withstand.
Mar/Apr The climate is changing-
Spring found me facing several things.
1) My condition was not improving.
2) Montana would not provide the treatments I needed.
3) My dad was dying of cancer.
May/Jun Tough times-
May was as cataclysmic as it was a catalyst.
I was there when Dad died. I grieved and missed him terribly. I miss him still.
I longed to share Heaven's release from pain- to see my dad and be with Jesus.
The two years of constant, excruciating pain; unrelenting emotional strain; and
the daunting financial drain were bad, but nothing compared to losing my father.
After dad passed, I remained a few weeks with my Missouri family to just rest.
During that short time fate struck another blow.
Suffice it to say, " A picture is worth a thousand words"...
Jul/Aug Breaking point-
The stress of these occurrences took their toll, leading to a weeklong
hospital admission. To complicate things OWCP chose this time to demand
a teleconference refusing to reschedule despite my hospitalization. It was
held from my hospital room. I have no recollection of the proceedings.
It is at the lowest points in life that God exposes truth and reality amid chaos.
He also reveals people in life who are true friends and real family, God-family.
It became apparent that critical changes were imperative- if I was to live.
Many hours were spent healing; mentally and physically. Long grueling
days were spent in outpatient physical therapy and even more on my own.
It is amazing what one can learn walking, praying and listening; alone with God.
Having always known that life is totally in God's hands,
it was time to step out of the past and give Him total control over the future.
With strength and will steadily increasing, the doctors in Missouri
finally released me to return to Montana. Having spent months
recovering at my brothers house, he was out of leave and unable to
accompany me home to help me get re-established. God provided a much longed for,
but completely unexpected answer to all our prayers.
The year drew to a close having held some of the best and worst times
I have ever faced. The holiday season was embraced with such joy and
humble thanksgiving, it was truly beyond compare. As the new year appeared,
not only was I alive, but I was given the chance to truly live again.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Today, we finally gained access to and control of this website!
The most important thing we want you to know is that God hears and answers the prayers of the faithful...
US Border Patrol Agent Denton L. Moberly is alive!
There have been many ups and downs since the last blog update in 2009, and there is no way to cover them all. In the future we may try to chonicle a bit of a time-line regarding his awesome recovery- now that we can.
A living testimony to Philippians 4:13-
"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."
Denton keeps pressing onward to the optimal goal of one day posting his status as "alive and well"! Many battles have been won and many obstacles overcome due to the awesome power of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. We want to thank each of you for your continued faith, support and prayers. We are so grateful to everyone; whether you are friends, family or Customs & Border Patrol family.
Please know you are all God-family to us.
"Thanks" is much too small a word and sentiment to express the depth of what we feel for those of you who have supported, posted, prayed, waited, kept checking this site....while still praying and wondering.
May God bless and keep you!
Denton and Toni Moberly
P.S. We will also try to regularly monitor the newly created email email@example.com .
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
He was sent to a specialist in San Francisco by Workmans Comp in July for further testing and evaluation. They have yet to decided anything from the visit. We are still waiting for them to make the only right decision there is, and that is to take responsibility for this case.
We would like to thank EVERYONE for their constant support in this 2 yr long situation. We have seen God give us miracles through the tough times and are very thankful for that. We pray that each and every one of you have a Blessed, Safe and Happy New Year!!!! God Bless You all!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Moberly Medical Fund
Wells Fargo Bank
PO Box 930
Shelby, MT 59474
account # 3445117322
Thank you and God bless you all.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Workman's comp is sending Moberly to a doctor in California next month to get an evaluation from a specialist. They are trying to get specific medical answers to determine wether they want to take the case or not.
We have put together a raffle to try and raise the money for Moberly an HBOT machine that proved to help him when he was back in Missouri. Moberly built a very custom Rock Rivers Arms AR-15 rifle that we are selling tickets for $20 a piece and will be drawing at the Shelby community picnic at the new fire station on July 4th. We also had a full size quilt made and donated by a very special lady here in the community that we are raffling off the same day and tickets for it are also $20. We hope to raise enough to purchase this hyperbaric unit for Moberly so that he can be getting some sort of treatment to help his brain and leg heal faster and more fully.
We want to thank everyone that has helped us through this very tough time in our lives. We appreciate the prayers and every way that the community and nation has helped.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Still no word from OWCP on the next step with the doctor visit. An A Chief from Washington has been keeping in close contact with us to try and help out anyway they can from that end.
We are taking it one day at a time. We again thank everybody for their support in the many ways you have shown us. Until next time.....God bless you.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sorry it's been a while since I've given an update, it's been a really hectic month. The kids and I just got back from dropping Moberly off in Missouri to stay with his brother for a while. It is a quite a bit warmer down there and the cold here was causing him to regress a quite a bit since we had been home from Missouri at Christmas time. He plans on staying for a couple of months to see how it goes. He doesn't want to stay away from his family for very long. We just hope that being in the warmer environment and getting more medical care will help him recover faster. When he fell and broke his nose and ribs back in January he started having a lot of pressure in his head. The doctor did a CT Scan on him and didn't find anything unusual. He's had very bad headaches quite often since he's been sick but they seemed to have gotten worse after his fall. His pain level went way up after returning home and his speech also got worse.
Before we left last week to take Moberly to Missouri he received a power wheelchair from the Scooter Store as a donation from a program called "The Gift of Mobility". It was a total suprise to him and it happened to come the day before his birthday. He was so excited, he wouldn't get out of it for over 2 hours. It is so much easier for him to get around in and easier for me to not have to push him in the manual wheelchair. Some of the guys from the local Shelby Border Patrol Station came over to help with the surprise. Pator Paul came over and helped lure him outside while the newspaper photographer Melani, took pictures of his surprised face. My boss wasn't able to make it due to being short-staffed but she has been very supportive through this whole ordeal. It was just an awesome gift and we are so thankful to Karen who called and got the whole thing arranged with the Scooter Store. Also we are so grateful for Wally the guy who delivered it here from Billings. He was such an awesome guy. He made sure everything was set before he left and then ended up bringing us a ramp the next day to help us get it transported back to Missouri. The Shelby Promoter put an article on the front page so here is the link to read it. http://www.shelbypromoter.com/articles/2009/02/18/shelby_promoter/news/news1.txt
We are still fighting OWCP on this case. The have now decided that he doesn't have infectious food poisoning or the flu but that he has bacterial food poisoning. They say his symptoms and ongoing disabilities are not related to the "food poisoning" so they are not paying for any of his therapies, medications and doctors visits or anything for that matter. They have decided to send him to another doctor to try and get another opinion on what is going on with him. We are not sure when this is supposed to happen but it's has been told that it is coming down shortly. It is a crying shame that Dept. of Labor has the power to put someones life in their hands and crush it while we stand by helpless and watch.
The FBI joint investigation is still ongoing as is the $25,000 reward they put out back in the fall.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Occupational therapy and speech therapy is going well. After the holidays he will be starting physical therapy as well. He gets pretty exhuasted from occupational therapy but it's helping him build back his strength. Speech therapy is not quite as hard on him physically but is mentally exhausting. His pain level has increased quite a bit since the weather has turned cold and the many days of snow. We try to limit his time outdoors so he doesn't get too miserable. Jerry came by Monday night and took us out to eat. By the time we got home Moberly's right leg was shaking uncontrollably. He was barely able to walk until his body got warmed up and his nerves stopped jerking. He loves getting to go out with the guys for lunch. The guys will stop by and take him to his favorite place for lunch and he comes home in a little better spirits. It helps when he's around the guys from work because he misses work so much. We went to the Christmas party with all the guys and girls from Shelby and Sweetgrass. He had an awesome time getting to visit with everyone and seeing people he hadn't been able to see. A very special thank you for the ones who helped get him in and out that night. It's hard for me to lift the wheelchair in and out of the truck so some of them helped with that.
Moberly has been taking on some gun projects for some of the guys. He is able to sit in his newly renovated "room" and work on guns. He has very little feeling in his right fingers so sometimes he has a hard time with small things but he is able to work around it. He has enjoyed having something to do instead of sitting on the couch all day and watch tv. He has never been one to sit in front of the tv very often. He spends a lot of time in his "room" just looking at his things and thinking up more things he can put on the walls. Having something to work on has definitely helped him not focus on his pain so much.
I pray all of you will have a very Blessed and Merry Christmas. Thank you so much for all the support, love and prayers this year. We will continue to need that in the following year. God has shown us how wide and deep his love for us is through all of you. The Christmas Angels in the community brought us a Christmas basket for the family. That was such an awesome thing. We would like to thank all who were involved in that, it mean a lot. Also we would like to thank the angels who have been cleaning the snow off of the ramp, porch and sidewalk. Thank you very much.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!! God bless you all.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
If you have any questions or comments please email them to firstname.lastname@example.org
SDSU Police Department:
"Holiday Ride 2008"
This motorcycle group ride has been organized by the SDSU Police Department to bring the SDSU community and surrounding law enforcement agencies together to celebrate the season! We encourage all SDSU employees, family, and friends to join us!
When:†† Sunday, December 21, 2008 @ 0800 hrs.
Where: †††† Meet at the SDSU Police parking lot (SDSU PARKING LOT N) at the intersection of 55th St. & Remington Rd., San Diego, CA 92182
Ride: We will be starting at SDSU PD, taking the freeway to the city streets of La Jolla & Torrey Pines; continuing along HWY 101 along the coast while passing through main streets of Del Mar, Cardiff-by-The-Sea, Encinitas, and Leucadia with a final destination in Carlsbad for a holiday brunch (exact destination for brunch to be determined; suggestions welcomed). Total round trip will be approximately 100 miles. The route planned is a cruising pace; all experience levels welcomed.
Donation: We will be riding in honor of Border Patrol Agent Denton Moberly. Agent Moberly was poisoned while on duty earlier this year & is currently fighting for his life. Donations are highly appreciated and 100% of the donations will be going directly to the Moberly family. For more information on Agent Moberly’s condition, please visit http://moberlyupdates.blogspot.com
Please Note: This is not a San Diego State University sponsored event. For further information, contact Police Dispatcher Creegan via e-mail at email@example.com
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
He has stopped the chelation treatments for now and will be re-evaluated in 2-3 months to see if he will continue and for how long. He truly believes that the chelation has helped his recovery so far.
Last week he had a pretty bad week with his pain levels being up around 8-10. The doctor and I both feel that this is due to the winter weather change. And also has to do with the healing process. Moberly says he will not be getting out much once it turns really cold.
Moberly and I would like to thank the Havre Sector Peer Support for all the help they have given us. There are so many other people and agents outside of Peer Support that have also given us much appreciated help that are too numerous to name them all.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Just an update on the Workman's Comp situation. They have not yet covered any expenses and continue to give us the run around after 8+ months. We have an excellent support team helping us with paperwork and that is greatly appreciated.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Saturday Moberly went deer hunting with a good friend Jerry from Sweet Grass. Jerry drove him up to a pop-up blind in the Sweet Grass Hills that he had set up the day before. He drove him right up to the blind and got him inside to sit in a seat. As Moberly said, "even handicapped people can hunt". He said a white-tail doe came right to him and he shot it with a 243 WSSM through the window of the blind. This was his first time deer hunting in 15 years and the first deer he's ever gotten. Moberly says "a great big thanks to Jerry". We also want to thank John from the Shelby station for taking Ethan and Whitney hunting on Saturday. This was their first time hunting. Ethan shot an 8 point (4x4 in Montana) buck and was so excited. Whitney had a few good shots in her crosshairs but decided not to take the shot. Thanks again John for taking them.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
I just wanted to let everybody know how things are going. It's been really hectic around here and I haven't had a chance to get an update out in a while. I know Jeremy has been trying to keep updates going on the blog but they've been busy moving.
As most of you already know we went to the University of Utah about 3 weeks ago and got a very good prognosis for the first time since all this started in February. The doctor there said that Moberly was in the acute stages of the poisoning and he should be starting to see some improvement very soon. He also said that if he could hang on just a little while longer that he would beat this thing and recover almost back to normal. Since then he has stablized and we are seeing some small improvements. His face is looking really good right now with color back in it and his eyes are not turning black hardly at all anymore. In the past week or two he has had 2 or 3 days that his pain level has actually been down a little from his normal range of 8-10. His muscles have been doing a lot of twitching especially at night time and his nerves are tingling and making some discomfort. He has not had feeling or movement in his right leg from the knee down in several months. This week he has been having a little movement in his right ankle and as of tonight he had pretty much full motion with it. He still doesn't have feeling in his toes and most of his foot but he says that his toes have been tingling. His muscles and nerves have been moving and tingling quite a bit because they are starting to get feeling and movement back in them. Of course keep in mind the last 3 doctors that he has seen have told him his recovery time would be at least 2-5 years. He has been sleeping a lot through the day this past week which is good because that is his body's natural way of healing is to sleep. He is still on numerous pain and muscle meds, but the medicine seems like it is working better than it had been. He had some testing last week to see if he had any brain damage but wasn't able to finish with the testing because he tires out too easily. He will finish that up in a few weeks. That doctor told him that he doesn't believe he has any permanent brain damage but will need to finish that testing to know for sure. He did tell him that he has what's called DAI and you can research it on the net if you want to know exactly what it is. The bottom line is he has sustained so much damage to his brain from first the poison and then all the falls where he hit his head that the doctor told him he would likely not survive if he fell and hit his head again. The doctor recommended him to wear a helmet at all times unless he is sleeping. He wanted something to match his wheelchair so at least he would look cool!!! He says he went from warrior to wheelchair warrior. He has a knee brace that locks so that his right knee can't bend and give way. He is walking a lot more stable around the house now but still has to use his wheelchair when he goes out. His speech has been a little better this past week but you can tell when he gets tired or in pain because his speech gets really slow, slurred and stuttery. His spirits are really good right now. He has had so many e-mails, phone calls, cards and visitors that he doesn't have time to get down. His dad, brother and brothers family have been up to see him recently. That was the best thing for him in a long time. Also his really good friend from Washington came over to see him and that lifted his spirits greatly. I can't tell you how much we appreciate everybody that has prayed, called, wrote and helped in numerous other ways. He now has about two and a half years of sick leave that has been donated to him by numerous federal agencies. The donations into his medical benefit fund have been unbelievable. He has gotten all the messages and e-mails that you all have so graciously sent. He does not talk very well so he doesn't like to be on the phone a lot and it takes him way too long to type an e-mail so he just reads the ones he gets. Please don't stop calling and writing because you haven't heard from him, he gets a blessing from every one of them. If you want information or have a question that you want to ask it would be better to email me and I will answer what I can. If it's about the investigation I am not able to discuss that at this time. If the case gets busted wide open I will be glad to tell you that. He spends a lot of time on the road with his co-workers going back and forth to doctors appointments 2-3 times a week. All the people at his station and some of the surrounding stations have been so great in helping get him to his appointments and sitting with him during the day while I'm at work. I take him to the regular doctors appointments and they take him to his chelation appointments. He usually talks them into taking him to the Harley shop or a gun shop while they are down there!!! He is trying to get together some gun projects to work on so he can stay busy. It's gets pretty boring sitting in the recliner all day watching tv day in and day out. Thank you all again for your love and prayers, I will continue to send updates when I can.
Thanks a lot y'all!!!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I know that a lot of you have been wondering what is going on and have not been able to see any new info posted here. Sorry about that. We have all been very busy over here and have not been able to get the information or post it as easily as we all would like. That is a good thing though because......
I could not get a hold of Moberly because he has been extremely busy with Doctors visits, fundraisers, etc. He has had very little time to himself these past few weeks and as a result he has discovered some very good things that I am sure will make you all feel a little better.
1) He feels better. He has less pain and is able to move around a little better on his own.
2) The leg brace allows him to walk on his own though he does struggle with dizziness at times while walking and has to use the wheelchair most of his time away from home.
3) He had to wear some protective headgear now due to the level of brain damage he has suffered from this poisoning. His Doctor is afraid of him falling and hitting his head saying that the amount of brain damage he has suffered could cause any falls to be fatal if he is not wearing a helmet.
4) He visited some Doctors in Utah and they said that the pesticide (they were able to confirm a few things about the pesticide as well) has already done all of the damage that it is going to do! They said that he will start healing now and that is very good. They said that he would never be 100% like he was but HE WILL HEAL!! The Doctors told him that it will take a good long while, it could even take years, but he will heal.
5) He has recently been able to do something that has been very therapeutic for him and very rewarding too. He has been able to focus on a hobby of his that gives him a better sense of purpose and has raised his moral. He has been able to finish building the AR-15 he started building before all of this. He says it makes him feel good being able work with his hands again the way he used too.
6) The investigation is ONGOING and is moving forward. That is all that can be said about it. I know that WE ALL want to know the information about the investigation right now but that is not possible. The only thing that they can tell us is what I just said. I will post any "breaking News" on that when I get any.
Lastly I would like to say thank you to all of the people who keep emailing me with your questions. There have been several requests for information from the media in different locations asking for the "411". I CANNOT give any information to the media about this incident. That is mostly because I have been asked not to by Moberly the rest is because I only know what it is that I post here. Please understand that we are not willing to risk any part of this investigation so we will not be giving out any information other than what is posted here.
Thank you so much for your understanding in this.
Moberly also wanted to say Thank You to all of you who have donated, Participated in fundraisers, emailed, prayed for him, visited him, cooked for them, socialized with them, called them, etc. Basically you get the idea. He is very grateful for all that you have done.
Until Next Time!
Friday, September 26, 2008
The fundraiser was obviously a huge success and will go a long way to helping the Moberlys with their enormous debt caused by this malicious act . Mrs. Moberly said they were in awe of the support and were very appreciative.
The fundraiser was so very successful because everyone took part. Thank you all for your selfless contributions. We had over 120 silent auction items, tons of baked goods, many of you volunteering to bus tables, serve food, wash dishes, and open wallets. It is a huge testament to the Border Patrol and community when we can all pull together to take care of one of our own in this manner. Please pass along to all of your spouses who spent so much of their own time making and baking goods how successful the fundraiser was and how appreciative the Moberly’s are.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Special Thanks to:
Jett Bowl North, Mrs. Vela
Sector Staff & Personnel
Laredo North Station
Laredo West Station
Zapata StationLaredo Sector Welfare & Rec. Officers
Sunday, September 21, 2008
I have been out of town for the past week (again) and I have not had any time to update the Blog. I will however, be adding all of the information about the fundraiser results here in a day or two as well as posting the most up to date info on Moberly. Thanks for keeping posted and showing your support in the various ways that y'all have!